Now What? Real Life?

This is me, the 49ers and the rest of the team's fans. The season is over and it hurts. Not as much today as last night. But my butt's still a little sore (okay, come on...clearly, that's a reference to being "butt hurt," not whatever your dirty mind jumped to!).

The bigger issue at hand now that I've made peace with the loss is what the hell I'm going to do with no football. I'm a self-admitted American Idol fan, so luckily that's starting up. But after a slew of terrible auditions and twenty six glamour shots of J. Lo's (still beautiful) face, there's really nothing left to talk about.

In reality, I could watch the NBA, NHL or college basketball. There's only one small problem: I'm a Sharks and Warriors fan like Hilary Duff is a "singer." It's convenient and all my friends are doing it, so why not?

And my college team, my alma mater Washington State...they kinda suck this year. And they are never on TV. That narrows down my leisure activities to drinking beer, watching movies and following the GOP campaigns for pure comedy.

As the Surgeon General has warned us, drinking too much beer is bad. It's hard to watch movies when Dad is asleep watching Hawaii Five-O on the only good TV, and one can only take so much borderline white supremacy before going bonkers.

So, I guess...sigh. It's time to grow up. DAMN IT. I've been avoiding this day for months now. But tomorrow I have an interview for another three month position at a much higher-paying, more grown-up job.

It must be the first step. I can use the money, I can use the steady schedule, and I could definitely use the resume boost! Plus, the company and the position both look pretty cool.

So I'll rock the interview, see where it gets me. And if I pull a Kyle Williams and blow it, you sleep it off, get up the next day, and look for the next shot.

But let's be real. We all know I'd rather be watching a Jim Carrey movie on the couch. Wouldn't you?

Things I Think I Thought A Lot About: Vol. 8

For the second day in a row, I'm doing a late-night/early-morning post, hoping it will pass as yesterday's TITITALA! Anyway, I think this will be a pretty obvious post: Washington State 81 Gonzaga 59!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another day, another marathon waiting in the rain and snow and cold to get in early to a Cougar sporting event. This time, I got up at 6:00 a.m. and set up camp. We got in early and got the second row behind the announcers. But nobody cared about getting on TV tonight - this was about redemption. After heartbreaking losses all weekend, we needed a win. Especially against the other big program in Eastern Washington. Regional rivals. We hung tough with #5 Kansas State five days ago, and this was a big game to see if we could actually measure up to the big boys. Granted, Gonzaga is not it's usual self, but they are still a solid program. We had a +4 line going in, but that was a bit generous; personally, I thought Gonzaga and WSU matched up really well. Until tip-off, that is.

Despite a slow start on offense for both teams, Washington State was playing stifling defense all game, holding Gonzaga's star scorer Steven Gray to 7 points on under 20% shooting. It really never was close. Three-pointer after three-pointer went through for the Cougs, and Klay Thompson (now ranked as the #4 shooting guard in the nation according to Rivals.com) just went off tonight. His final line: 24 points, 7 steals, 6 rebounds, 6 assists and 1 block.

Let me take a second to go where many men have gone before. I want to step back and take a closer look at Klay's amazing game. Obviously, the 24 points are impressive in themselves, as that total came in just over his team-leading season average. But, he was also 4-7 from beyond the arc, including two HUGE momentum-killing threes in the second half. The thing I was most impressed with was the defense though - seven steals is absolutely ridiculous, but what the box score doesn't show is two things:

1) He was everywhere on defense tonight. He covered anybody and everybody, was hustling harder than anyone on the court, and got to the ball at least five more times than the stats actually registered. Basically he was just a huge spark on both sides of the floor.

2) Remember those momentum-killing threes I mentioned? He swatted away a lay-in by Gonzaga on a huge block, came down the floor, passed the ball off, got it back and hit a perfect three-pointer right in the defender's eye. Not only that, but he ran back down the court with arms raised, yelling...dare I say it: Klay Thompson was showing emotion on the court. That pumped up the crowd more than anything.

Anyway, an overall amazing game for the Cougars. And it was really worth every second I stood in that freezing cold line. We should be getting a few votes for the Top 25, although I don't know if we'll actually sneak in yet. With a 6-1 record and a quality win under our belts (the only loss being to Kansas State of course, who is a top-5 team and only beat us by five!), we may be on the cusp!

Anyway, I'm still on edge from the epicness of the game (although the Rockstar I drank might be adding to the jitters...) and really can't even formulate anything more to say right now. All I can say is Go Cougs, and I'll see y'all tomorrow!

Things I Think I Thought A Lot About: Vol. 4

Today I was a minor celebrity. After a hectic day yesterday of camping out for the (HEARTBREAKING, by the way) basketball game for over 12 hours, I was at it again. Up early to go to the Apple Cup - for those of you that don't know, that is the in-state football rivalry between my Washington State Cougars and the evil Washington Huskies - and painted from waist to forehead as the representative letter "S" in "GO COUGS!"

It's no Red Sox/Yankees or Duke/North Carolina, but the Apple Cup is a pretty damn big deal. Especially up here. Despite a 2-9 record, the Cougars were looking for the upset, and even sweeter, to knock the Huskies out of bowl contention. To paraphrase the disappointing result, Washington pulled it out on the road 35-28. But that's not the point...

Let me remind anyone who's reading that it was averaging around 23 degrees here today, with some icy wind and light snow. And I was shirtless. For almost 5 hours. It's a miracle I'm alive, but my friends and I received more than enough attention! We had multiple pictures taken of us, were on the big screen at least five times, and were on live TV a few times as well. We made friends with the security guards and the crowd management staff, my roommate (the "space" between "GO" and "COUGS") made out with a girl who claimed she "just had to make out with one of the people they saw on the screen," and even got a passing Husky fan to stop flipping off our fans and hold his hands up in respect at the sight of us. Not to mention, I think my hands (wrapped in 2 pairs of gloves, including heavy snowboarding gloves) are bruised from the literally hundreds of high fives I received from the Cougar faithful passing by who were admiring our bravery, dedication, and no doubt our beautifully-sculpted male bodies.

Despite the loss and the awful weather, it was one of the most fun times I've ever had at sporting event. While it killed me to watch Washington celebrate on our field, I had a great time being "one of those guys" that the entire city surely saw during the game. And I have never been more excited to leave the stadium...I still can't feel my nipples...

Things I Think I Thought A Lot About: Vol. 3

Hey, there we go! Back on track with this whole blogging thing. Today: we discuss my thoughts on why pulling an all-nighter to get in line for my school's basketball game is NOT the work of a crazy person. First of all, the background...I have an Anthropology test at 2:00 this afternoon. I am studying for it right now. I am studying for it outside of Beasley Coliseum, where the Washington State Cougars will attempt to knock off the top-5 Kansas State Wildcats in men's basketball at 8:00 tonight. It is freezing cold out here. I slept in a 2-foot long nook with a worthless pad, sleeping bag and pillow. I look like an eskimo. I will stay in this line until they let us into the game around 6:00 tonight (other than when I'm taking my test). I'm sure people reading this are shaking their heads and muttering about me being a crazy dude. In fact, I'm sure of it, because even some of my friends at school have told me this to my face!

But, there is no offense taken, don't worry. In fact, I take pride in this craziness. IN FACT, I wish they hadn't instituted a "no camping" policy so that I could have staked my claim in line days ago! Seriously. Anyway, let's get to the point here: I am a Coug. I love Coug sports (yes, even the football team...). I especially love Coug sports that have potential for postseason play. Hence, why I put so much effort into going to the basketball games, frostbite be damned. There is nothing better than sitting front row, getting on TV with fellow ZZU CRU members, and (hopefully, hopefully, hopefully) storming the court after a huge upset! Been there, done that? Rushed the field two years ago in the Apple Cup after the double-overtime win? Rushed the court two years ago when Taylor Rochestie hit a buzzer-beating three-pointer against Arizona State? Well, I did. And let me tell you that never gets old.

I'll be realistic for a second here; Kansas State is a REALLY good basketball team. They are far better than Washington State. But, until the final buzzer sounds, we are in it. And that's enough for some crazy fans like me to risk life and limb, hike through treacherous tundra, and...okay sorry. Overly dramatic. But really, win or lose, if we play well, it will be worth the 12 and a half hours I sit here. And Kansas State? Well, I hope they don't get too cocky...they haven't had to deal with the ZZU CRU lately. They haven't had to deal with an improved, older Klay Thompson. Or Reggie Moore. DeAngelo Casto. Faisal Aden. I'm not going to be bold and predict an upset, but the way these guys are shooting lights out right now, it's possible.

So, call me crazy, but the Cougs have a big game tonight. The biggest of the year, no doubt. And there is no way I let something stupid like sleep or schoolwork get in my way. I'm going to this game, and I'm going all out.

Cleveland's Got Nothin' On Me

Copied from my latest freelance, just-for-fun published article on www.Sportscolumn.com (aspiring sports writers, or sports fans check out the website and join for free!)

Hi, my name is JDWC and I’m addicted to sports. I was hooked from birth, because my father is an addict too. Like him, my drugs of choice are the Dodgers, the 49ers and the Oakland A’s. But, like most addicts and sons, I pledged to be better, to be more. So I surpassed my father…I became a basketball fan and chose the most depressing depressant known to man: the Golden State Warriors. The high school years were a brief, four-step recovery program. I graduated from the program in 2007, proclaimed clean and cured!

Alas, tragedy struck again. I was thrust into the real world and sent up to Pullman, WA to educate myself in the arts of Journalism and Creative Writing. From the first time I tasted Washington State University football, I was hooked again. Years passed and I drifted back into my addictive haze. Over the last week, I have hit rock bottom. If only I had chosen St. Louis. New York. Boston. Even Seattle. Instead, I got what I deserved. My teams have taken years from my life I will never get back. This is the uncut, untold story of my struggles:

I literally can’t remember the last time I was completely clean. I’ve been an on and off user of the Warriors. I didn’t discover the Cougars until I was a freshman in college. But the strongest, longest-lasting addictions have been to the original three. I’ve never wavered, never lessened my dosage; in fact, I’ve only increased the amount of attention I give to my drugs. Each year of losing worsens my dependence, yet I still fail to get clean. Now, they are beginning to fail me. The A’s, Dodgers and 49ers have all provided me with some great trips. In particular, I remember the 2003 A’s and the 2009 Dodgers and the 1998 49ers. Oh, those were the good old days. Young talent, Hall-of-Fame veterans, tons of money…just riding out the wave.

Since the glory days, things have gotten ugly. The A’s are a revolving door of Moneyball prospects and injury-riddled stars. It’s still a strong drug at a cheap price. A well-known brand. But, I’ve started to lose trust in my dealer. Goes by Beane, Billy Beane. He laced my last dose with a little Matt Holliday. That was the definition of a bad trip. Now St. Louis and Colorado (the Carlos Gonzalez-laced stuff) are reaping the benefits. Those damn spoiled junkies. There is always so much potential with this drug. It can be so good. So good. But nobody supports it, nobody will pay for it. As a result, the taste and the strength of the actual product is turning sour. Don’t get me wrong, a new shipment of young pitching and a small does of strong stuff from Sacramento gives me hope. But the inconsistency kills me. Almost makes me want to go clean. Almost.

The Dodgers’ downfall has been the result of a power struggle among drug lords. Destruction has started from the top, between Capo’s Frank and Jamie McCourt. Ned Colletti is Frank’s right hand man, and is just as much a part of the problem as anyone. The 2009 stuff was delicious. All new on the market; a strain of Kemp, a little Ethier, a splash of Loney and a hint of Kershaw. Sprinkle that Manny-weed throughout and that sweet, easy taste of Broxton at the end of each hit…it got me so, so high. We were never going to be as good as that stuff from Philly, but we were on the way up. Unfortunately, the drug became too popular. My addiction soared. I was strictly ingesting Dodgers on a regular basis; everything else was secondary. The money became too important, and the users suffered. Now, the Kemp is stale, the Ethier is thrashed, the Loney is weak, the Manny is gone all together, and the Broxton tastes like shit. I could care less for a hit of the Dodgers at this point.

Until this year, I had never been as high on anything as I was on Warriors in 2007. Everyone I knew was on that stuff heading into the playoffs. Baron Davis endorsed it, and We Believed. Sure, we were wasted, but we all knew our stuff would take down Dallas’ best. When our prophecy came to fruition, we drank it and smoked it and injected it in every orifice. Since that trip, the drug’s popularity has seen a steep decline. Disappointment after disappointment has left me wary of trusting it again. Of course, some good comes out of every bad: I can safely say I’m no longer hooked. That’s one drug down, four big ones to go. Although I’m always on the verge of relapse…

Thankfully, I had my hopes up for a brand spankin’ new shipment of 49ers. That red and gold goodness that I missed so much. The real stuff hadn’t even hit the market yet when I was already smoking the tester. The teaser. All I could think about was 49ers. Finally, a much-needed drug in a year of disappointments. I was so high on 49ers before it even came out, I was actually skipping class to check the status of the delivery. Finally the big day arrived. Sunday, September 12, 2010 – the day the new 49ers were introduced to the world. A confident Alex Smith, a revamped line, a healthy secondary…it smelled so good. Pretty bubble-wrapped packaging and a shiny, silver box. It all turned out to be a big hoax. A small name operation from Seattle tore it apart, bit by bit. There was no Crabtree in the drug as promised, hardly any run game and the line was far more shaky than advertised. I still hit that line, I fell for the hype and now I’m giving the 49ers one more chance to prove that I should continue to be an addict. Never in my life have I been so disappointed by a single substance. From sky high to rock bottom, in a matter of four very long, very ugly 15-minute quarters. One single season, one Singletary reason to prove to me why I should choose them.

The 49ers is still my drug of choice. It is supposed to last at least four months…if it lasts longer, it was a success. And if it was a success, my craving is cured. In the mean time, I’ve got one on the side. I do it every weekend because it’s local and extremely cheap. It’s never a good trip and I’m never high for long, but as other Washington State Cougar fans know, it’s still worth doing. The football team is awful, squeaking out a 23-22 win over Division-II Montana St. last weekend. The basketball team underperformed last year and now has lofty expectations of a 2^nd place Pac-10 finish to live up to this year (according to ESPN). Truth be told, taking Cougar is more like a shot of bad vodka and a midday nap. A win and I’m drunk, anything less is a waste of time and money. Since I got hooked on Cougar, I’ve been drunk less than ten times in four years. What a terrible, terrible ratio.

I’m not one of the strong ones. I can’t go to Changes Rehab or Winehouse Springs to get clean. I can’t resist the urge, the pull of my addictions. I will always be hooked on A. I will always be hooked on Dodger. I will always be hooked on 49er. And honestly, I probably won’t forget the glory of Cougar. I’ll hit Warrior when it’s good and keep paying for the others even when the crop is weak. That’s the nature of a true addict. While I can’t ever be healthy, I’ve at least accepted that resistance is pointless. These drugs will be in my blood forever. They are a part of me. I can’t stop now.

The days ahead may be dark, but the sun always rises eventually. I just hope it warms me up before the addicts of Huskies and Giants, those filthy, rotten druggies. And god forbid, I hope the sun warms me up before Cleveland.