Now What? Real Life?

This is me, the 49ers and the rest of the team's fans. The season is over and it hurts. Not as much today as last night. But my butt's still a little sore (okay, come on...clearly, that's a reference to being "butt hurt," not whatever your dirty mind jumped to!).

The bigger issue at hand now that I've made peace with the loss is what the hell I'm going to do with no football. I'm a self-admitted American Idol fan, so luckily that's starting up. But after a slew of terrible auditions and twenty six glamour shots of J. Lo's (still beautiful) face, there's really nothing left to talk about.

In reality, I could watch the NBA, NHL or college basketball. There's only one small problem: I'm a Sharks and Warriors fan like Hilary Duff is a "singer." It's convenient and all my friends are doing it, so why not?

And my college team, my alma mater Washington State...they kinda suck this year. And they are never on TV. That narrows down my leisure activities to drinking beer, watching movies and following the GOP campaigns for pure comedy.

As the Surgeon General has warned us, drinking too much beer is bad. It's hard to watch movies when Dad is asleep watching Hawaii Five-O on the only good TV, and one can only take so much borderline white supremacy before going bonkers.

So, I guess...sigh. It's time to grow up. DAMN IT. I've been avoiding this day for months now. But tomorrow I have an interview for another three month position at a much higher-paying, more grown-up job.

It must be the first step. I can use the money, I can use the steady schedule, and I could definitely use the resume boost! Plus, the company and the position both look pretty cool.

So I'll rock the interview, see where it gets me. And if I pull a Kyle Williams and blow it, you sleep it off, get up the next day, and look for the next shot.

But let's be real. We all know I'd rather be watching a Jim Carrey movie on the couch. Wouldn't you?

Jam Shots - June 5th, 2011

I just want to say, for the record, that I’ve seen a few collisions at home plate since the Buster Posey situation, and nobody’s made a big deal out of it. Although Jordan Schaefer did bunt a pitch off his face, and the league is now considering outlawing bats and balls. In other news, the Mavs pulled off the impossible, and won a game against the Heat! Unbelievable.

In today’s episode, Albert Pujols wasn’t dormant for long, Adam Jones makes an incredible catch, the Heat choke on their own ego, and an argument that would make Skip Bayless proud (that’s not a good thing). Plus, the most overrated baseball players in the game today. Enjoy!

Jam Shots, Episode 2, 6/5/11

*Basketball*

Let’s start with the biggest sports story of the week. The Miami Heat, behind 36 points from Dwyane Wade, had a huge lead midway through the fourth quarter of Game 2, only to start bricking shots, throwing the ball away and performing a vanishing act on defense en route to losing by 2 to the Mavs. Dirk Nowitzki had the last 9 points for Dallas, who showed a ton of confidence and impressed me with their ability to keep cool in that situation.

The Heat looked foolish celebrating Wade’s three, the last shot before the furious rally mounted by the Mavs. Well, the celebration was kind of cool actually, and was blown way out of proportion by the media, (surprise, surprise), but there is no doubt that it fueled the Mavs. So the question is, after the comeback and heading home to Dallas for three games (why do they change the format?) in a row, can they actually pull off the upset and win?

Well…no. It was a fantastic game and all, but it took a miracle for them to pull that game out, coupled with a complete collapse by the Heat. Wade, Bosh and LeBron will not let this opportunity slip away. I’d be hard-pressed to believe the planets will align again like that. Don’t get me wrong; Dallas is a good team, and Dirk is a star. But, I’d be shocked to see them win more than two games in this series. Sure, they have home-court advantage now, but the Heat have been an amazing team on the road this postseason, and playing that poorly at the end of Game 2 is going to fuel the three-headed beast.

I’m giving the Mavs one game at home, losing in 6 overall.

In other completely unrelated basketball news, a few mock drafts have Washington State University’s Klay Thompson going to the Warriors with the 11th pick. Why is this relevant? Because, as a WSU alumnus, I would absolutely love to see him go to Golden State so I can see him play nearby…sure, it’s selfish, especially since he doesn’t exactly fit the Warriors’ needs. But still, he’s the greatest player in Washington St. history so you won’t hear any complaints from me if the Dubs snag him. But, if Bismack Biyombo, the unknown center from Congo falls to that spot, we must take him. Forget the team needs, I want that jersey!

And just for the hell of it, I’m still baffled that Reggie Miller was not elected to the Hall-of-Fame on his first try…blasphemy! Wait, he wasn’t even one of the 12 finalists? What the f*&! are those Nazi’s in the Hall committee smoking? That’s more ridiculous than…

*Baseball*

…the fact that the Buster Posey talk is still dominating the headlines (or the fact that I used the EXACT same segway as last week). Even Buster himself is sick of the talk, saying “we all need to move on.” At least one respectable person who has given their two cents is on point about this. Cue Hall of Fame catcher, 14-time All Star, and widely regarded “best catcher there ever was,” Johnny Bench:

“Buster is laying in front of home plate, and it’s like having a disabled car in the middle of a four-lane highway. You’re just going to get smacked. Show them the plate. You can always catch the ball and step, or step and catch the ball, as long as you’ve got the runner on the ground. And if you have the runner on the ground, there’s less chance of any severe collision.” - Bench

Okay, seriously. We’re moving on now.

Remember that Albert Pujols guy? Well, um, yeah. He’s back. Pujols hit two home runs yesterday, including a walk-off in extras. He almost single-handedly won that game for St. Louis, who already has a lead in the NL Central. That’s not very fair to the other teams that they can still be so good with below-average production from Pujols and Adam Wainwright out for the season. It also doesn’t bode well for my pre-season pick of the Milwaukee Brewers to win the division crown…sigh. Oh well, I love watching Albert play and it looks like he’s heating up with the weather, which is great news for all baseball fans (save for anyone who likes the Cubs – but they never had a chance to begin with).

Speaking of home runs, anyone who hasn’t seen Mitch Moreland and Justin Upton’s home runs from Monday, can find them here:
http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/gameday/index.jsp?gid=2011_05_30_texmlb_tbamlb_1&mode=video
Anyone who thinks Moreland’s home run did not travel over 500 feet must be dealing to the NBA H-O-F committee. I just love a good dinger. Ah…that came out wrong.

Even though those home runs were sweet, nothing compares to this unfreakingbelievable catch by Adam Jones of the O’s. Tell me what you think: is it better than Willie Mays’ catch? We know Mays’ will always be the original icon of that kind of play, we know he made the catch in the playoffs and also covered tons of ground, AND wheeled and fired a strike back to the infield to keep the runners from advancing. But, Jones made his as he crashed into the center field wall, and I’m not sure how the ball physically went over his shoulder and into the glove before impact. You be the judge; let me know which catch you think is better.

Last but not least, Sports Illustrated released their annual “Player’s Poll,” which asks almost 200 MLB players to rank their fellow players and coaches in certain categories. The most popular, most read and most controversial list came out recently. Who is baseball’s most overrated player? According to the poll, Alex Rodriguez tops the list, followed by Yankee teammates Joba Chamberlain and Derek Jeter. The Nationals’ Jayson Werth and Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon rounded out the top 5. This is another interesting debate – surely, I can see why these guys are on the list, but I question if A-Rod and Jeter are actually “overrated.” Overpaid, definitely. But so is anyone making that much money to play a game.

The two relievers’ numbers don’t warrant any praise, so they definitely have earned their spots on this list. And as soon as Werth inked that contract (I called it by the way – check out my Bold Predictions/Burning Questions blog), he became Werth-less. I have a soft spot for DJ as he and Ken Griffey, Jr. are the two faces I point to as the guys who epitomized the sport for me growing up. And it’s hard to hate on someone who is so respectable. But A-Rod on reputation and salary alone claims a spot.

So, who do I think should slide into that last spot? Here’s a doozy for ya: how about someone like Zack Greinke? He’s likeable, got filthy stuff and a Cy Young award to boot – but his career numbers are really not that good. I don’t know if I would go as far as to include him on the list, but he is treated like the second coming of Tim Hudson, when he’s really not.

*Other Sports*

General -
I hate Skip Bayless. There is no reason for me to introduce this topic with that line, other than the fact that I know he would side with the wrong argument in this debate: To be considered a truly great player, does one have to win a championship ring? The issue obviously arose with Dirk and LeBron, both ringless, facing off in the Finals this year. Apparently, whoever wins will finally be labeled “great.” Because they both are not already, right? I can think of plenty of players who will never, ever be remembered, let alone considered “great” like James and Nowitzki who have a ring; even multiple rings!

Look, I can see where the argument comes from. Who cares how dominant a player is in their sport if they never win it all? But for some, it just wasn’t meant to happen. I normally wouldn’t be one to believe in credence like that, but it’s different in sports. The logic just isn’t there for the other side. Bayless, undoubtedly, and his cretins would have to say then, that Ernie Banks is not an all-time baseball great. Same with Ted Williams, the last man to hit .400 in a season. Charles Barkley, Reggie Miller, Patrick Ewing, John Stockton and Karl Malone in the NBA. Dan Marino and Jim Kelly in the NFL. The list goes on and on.

Greatness is based on individual achievements and legacies are built on how many championships a franchise has won. Williams' Red Sox were mired in the middle of an 84-year title drought while he played. I think he did all he could though: he hit .344 with 521 home runs in his career. He was elected to the All-Star game 17 times and won 2 A.L. MVP’s. The debate for greatest hitter of all time is never complete without him being mentioned in the top two or three. And you’re going to tell me that because he never won a World Series, he’s not an all-time great? Screw you Skip Bayless.

Soccer –
Sooo…I would love to see the USA National Team be a world force in soccer. And I know Landon Donovan wasn’t playing yesterday, but we looked like a Special Olympics team losing 4-0 to Spain in a friendly in New England. We still have a long, long way to go. But, for the casual soccer fan, how pretty were some of those goals by Spain??

And I leave you with this clip. The coolest thing I’ve seen since Wayne Rooney’s bicycle kick goal a few months back.

That’s all for now. Check back next Sunday for more Jam Shots!

Cleveland's Got Nothin' On Me

Copied from my latest freelance, just-for-fun published article on www.Sportscolumn.com (aspiring sports writers, or sports fans check out the website and join for free!)

Hi, my name is JDWC and I’m addicted to sports. I was hooked from birth, because my father is an addict too. Like him, my drugs of choice are the Dodgers, the 49ers and the Oakland A’s. But, like most addicts and sons, I pledged to be better, to be more. So I surpassed my father…I became a basketball fan and chose the most depressing depressant known to man: the Golden State Warriors. The high school years were a brief, four-step recovery program. I graduated from the program in 2007, proclaimed clean and cured!

Alas, tragedy struck again. I was thrust into the real world and sent up to Pullman, WA to educate myself in the arts of Journalism and Creative Writing. From the first time I tasted Washington State University football, I was hooked again. Years passed and I drifted back into my addictive haze. Over the last week, I have hit rock bottom. If only I had chosen St. Louis. New York. Boston. Even Seattle. Instead, I got what I deserved. My teams have taken years from my life I will never get back. This is the uncut, untold story of my struggles:

I literally can’t remember the last time I was completely clean. I’ve been an on and off user of the Warriors. I didn’t discover the Cougars until I was a freshman in college. But the strongest, longest-lasting addictions have been to the original three. I’ve never wavered, never lessened my dosage; in fact, I’ve only increased the amount of attention I give to my drugs. Each year of losing worsens my dependence, yet I still fail to get clean. Now, they are beginning to fail me. The A’s, Dodgers and 49ers have all provided me with some great trips. In particular, I remember the 2003 A’s and the 2009 Dodgers and the 1998 49ers. Oh, those were the good old days. Young talent, Hall-of-Fame veterans, tons of money…just riding out the wave.

Since the glory days, things have gotten ugly. The A’s are a revolving door of Moneyball prospects and injury-riddled stars. It’s still a strong drug at a cheap price. A well-known brand. But, I’ve started to lose trust in my dealer. Goes by Beane, Billy Beane. He laced my last dose with a little Matt Holliday. That was the definition of a bad trip. Now St. Louis and Colorado (the Carlos Gonzalez-laced stuff) are reaping the benefits. Those damn spoiled junkies. There is always so much potential with this drug. It can be so good. So good. But nobody supports it, nobody will pay for it. As a result, the taste and the strength of the actual product is turning sour. Don’t get me wrong, a new shipment of young pitching and a small does of strong stuff from Sacramento gives me hope. But the inconsistency kills me. Almost makes me want to go clean. Almost.

The Dodgers’ downfall has been the result of a power struggle among drug lords. Destruction has started from the top, between Capo’s Frank and Jamie McCourt. Ned Colletti is Frank’s right hand man, and is just as much a part of the problem as anyone. The 2009 stuff was delicious. All new on the market; a strain of Kemp, a little Ethier, a splash of Loney and a hint of Kershaw. Sprinkle that Manny-weed throughout and that sweet, easy taste of Broxton at the end of each hit…it got me so, so high. We were never going to be as good as that stuff from Philly, but we were on the way up. Unfortunately, the drug became too popular. My addiction soared. I was strictly ingesting Dodgers on a regular basis; everything else was secondary. The money became too important, and the users suffered. Now, the Kemp is stale, the Ethier is thrashed, the Loney is weak, the Manny is gone all together, and the Broxton tastes like shit. I could care less for a hit of the Dodgers at this point.

Until this year, I had never been as high on anything as I was on Warriors in 2007. Everyone I knew was on that stuff heading into the playoffs. Baron Davis endorsed it, and We Believed. Sure, we were wasted, but we all knew our stuff would take down Dallas’ best. When our prophecy came to fruition, we drank it and smoked it and injected it in every orifice. Since that trip, the drug’s popularity has seen a steep decline. Disappointment after disappointment has left me wary of trusting it again. Of course, some good comes out of every bad: I can safely say I’m no longer hooked. That’s one drug down, four big ones to go. Although I’m always on the verge of relapse…

Thankfully, I had my hopes up for a brand spankin’ new shipment of 49ers. That red and gold goodness that I missed so much. The real stuff hadn’t even hit the market yet when I was already smoking the tester. The teaser. All I could think about was 49ers. Finally, a much-needed drug in a year of disappointments. I was so high on 49ers before it even came out, I was actually skipping class to check the status of the delivery. Finally the big day arrived. Sunday, September 12, 2010 – the day the new 49ers were introduced to the world. A confident Alex Smith, a revamped line, a healthy secondary…it smelled so good. Pretty bubble-wrapped packaging and a shiny, silver box. It all turned out to be a big hoax. A small name operation from Seattle tore it apart, bit by bit. There was no Crabtree in the drug as promised, hardly any run game and the line was far more shaky than advertised. I still hit that line, I fell for the hype and now I’m giving the 49ers one more chance to prove that I should continue to be an addict. Never in my life have I been so disappointed by a single substance. From sky high to rock bottom, in a matter of four very long, very ugly 15-minute quarters. One single season, one Singletary reason to prove to me why I should choose them.

The 49ers is still my drug of choice. It is supposed to last at least four months…if it lasts longer, it was a success. And if it was a success, my craving is cured. In the mean time, I’ve got one on the side. I do it every weekend because it’s local and extremely cheap. It’s never a good trip and I’m never high for long, but as other Washington State Cougar fans know, it’s still worth doing. The football team is awful, squeaking out a 23-22 win over Division-II Montana St. last weekend. The basketball team underperformed last year and now has lofty expectations of a 2^nd place Pac-10 finish to live up to this year (according to ESPN). Truth be told, taking Cougar is more like a shot of bad vodka and a midday nap. A win and I’m drunk, anything less is a waste of time and money. Since I got hooked on Cougar, I’ve been drunk less than ten times in four years. What a terrible, terrible ratio.

I’m not one of the strong ones. I can’t go to Changes Rehab or Winehouse Springs to get clean. I can’t resist the urge, the pull of my addictions. I will always be hooked on A. I will always be hooked on Dodger. I will always be hooked on 49er. And honestly, I probably won’t forget the glory of Cougar. I’ll hit Warrior when it’s good and keep paying for the others even when the crop is weak. That’s the nature of a true addict. While I can’t ever be healthy, I’ve at least accepted that resistance is pointless. These drugs will be in my blood forever. They are a part of me. I can’t stop now.

The days ahead may be dark, but the sun always rises eventually. I just hope it warms me up before the addicts of Huskies and Giants, those filthy, rotten druggies. And god forbid, I hope the sun warms me up before Cleveland.