Thursday, November 4th, 2010
When I have children of my own, and they ask, "Daddy, why is Pete Rose on the top of the list, but not in the Hall of Fame?" what the hell do I tell them?
"Well, um...he...was too good! Ah yes." Nope. That won't work.
"He really screwed the pooch and bet on baseball." Won't cut it.
"Because every Commissioner since Rose retired has been a f*&$%!@ idiot!" Whoa. No. Calm down.
So, I guess I try to explain. Honestly, this might be harder than the sex talks, or the puberty talks, or the first-time-caught-drinking talks. Which I might add, hopefully happen at three separate times.
I think I would sit down and say:
"Son. Daughter. Pete Rose is one of the greatest baseball players of all-time, and he was punished for it. He got a lifelong time-out from the baseball gods, and he doesn't get to play with the other kids now."
"But why?" they would ask.
"Well, he paid money to people to do certain things behind everyone else's back. And that was against the rules," I would answer.
"Like what you said Uncle Joe did to Aunt Vic---"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa kids. Time for bed."
Man, this is gonna suck.