Thursday, November 4, 2010

Things I Think I Thought A Lot About: Vol. 1

I am trying to make this blogging thing more regular. So hopefully I can put a new "thought" up every day. Just a short blurb, maybe 250 words, about a topic that's on my mind. Check in for new ones, you never know what you might find!

Thursday, November 4th, 2010

When I have children of my own, and they ask, "Daddy, why is Pete Rose on the top of the list, but not in the Hall of Fame?" what the hell do I tell them?

"Well, um...he...was too good! Ah yes." Nope. That won't work.
"He really screwed the pooch and bet on baseball." Won't cut it.
"Because every Commissioner since Rose retired has been a f*&$%!@ idiot!" Whoa. No. Calm down.

So, I guess I try to explain. Honestly, this might be harder than the sex talks, or the puberty talks, or the first-time-caught-drinking talks. Which I might add, hopefully happen at three separate times.

I think I would sit down and say:

"Son. Daughter. Pete Rose is one of the greatest baseball players of all-time, and he was punished for it. He got a lifelong time-out from the baseball gods, and he doesn't get to play with the other kids now."

"But why?" they would ask.

"Well, he paid money to people to do certain things behind everyone else's back. And that was against the rules," I would answer.

"Like what you said Uncle Joe did to Aunt Vic---"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa kids. Time for bed."

Man, this is gonna suck.


Book Review: Blasphemy by Douglas Preston

Every time I write a book review, I feel a strange similarity to a journalist writing a newspaper article. That is, newspaper circulation is dwindling with the industry and it seems that the amount of book readers seem to be decreasing too. Darned kids. Now, the last book I reviewed (The Book Thief by Markus Zusak) was an instant classic for me. So reading Blasphemy by Douglas Preston was a little like seeing Ke$ha perform after Celine Dion (I assume...uhh...). That is, Blasphemy is entertaining in it's own way, but can't touch the class of a legend.

The basic idea of Blasphemy is centered around a multi-billion dollar particle collider, "Isabella." It is operating in the mountainside of Red Mesa, Ariz., right in the heart of Navajo country. It is under the operation of Nobel-prize winning, widely-proclaimed smartest man in the world, Gregory North Hazelius and his team of elite scientists, mathematicians and psychologists. They are attempting to re-create the Big Bang by circulating particles in opposite directions through the collider and clashing them at certain high energies and recording the results. Wow, that is too much science for me - my head is spinning.

Most novels have a problem or two; an antagonist or two. This book seems to be chock full of them. Preston does a really impressive job with character description and development, especially because there are so many major characters. The main character, or at least the main protagonist is ex-CIA agent turned monk turned private investigator, Wyman Ford. He is sent to Red Mesa as an undercover "anthropologist" to figure out what's behind reports of trouble coming out of Isabella. Things get complicated when he realizes that the assistant director of the operation is his ex-love interest Kate Mercer. If you think a side love story is complicated, just wait.

The U.S. government, who is financing the Isabella project, has made plenty of enemies. They alienated the Navajo tribes by failing to keep promises made in agreements over use of their land. They angered devoutly religious groups by essentially trying to prove that science was the real method of creationism, not Genesis. And one particular deranged preacher in general, Pastor Russ Eddy, has a personal problem with the Isabella project, which is situated just miles away from his small, local church establishment.

So, once Ford is sent down to investigate, things really start getting crazy. A Russian scientist is found dead, mysterious messages begin to appear in the process of recording information on Isabella, Pastor Eddy takes a cue from a popular television evangelist and calls for a complete Christian overthrow of the operation and it's "Antichrist" leader (Hazelius), and the Navajos are constantly protesting. If you're getting lost, I totally understand. It's a lot to take in. It's hard to follow just from the summary, but it makes sense when it's all put together in the book (big props to Preston for making that happen).

At the peak of the action, the Isabella team has locked themselves inside Isabella and shut out all communication. An apocalyptic Christian mob has formed and started charging the base. Military personnel has been deployed to respond to the loss of communication inside Isabella. And the Navajo people are spying and plotting ways to get what they rightfully earned. I can't tell you any more than that, but hopefully that gives you an idea of the epic, climactic action that takes up the last third of the book.

The first two thirds are no slouches either. They are imperative to the development of the story and give us the opportunity to meet tons of new, unforgettable characters. I really enjoyed the way Preston was able to display the action scenes with vivid imagery; I could totally picture them on a movie screen. The only major complaints I have with the book, and the writing for that matter, is there is a really cheesy, almost pointless love story going on the side with Ford and Mercer. Also, there is a very shocking twist at the end, that is poorly developed. It still surprises you, but leaves you saying something along the lines of: "Really? That's kind of lame."

In no way do these things detract from the book overall. As I mentioned, the story is very enthralling, very brave and well-written. Preston seems to hold nothing back as far as political correctness and actually uses current issues to demonstrate the characters and scenes in Blasphemy. Also, there is a good portion of the book that really gets you thinking (as a title like Blasphemy would suggest, no?). It gets you thinking about creation, the meaning of life, destiny, etc. And if I had to choose one aspect of Preston's writing in the novel that really stood out, it would be the ways in which he worded the parts that get your brain moving like that. Extremely impressive.

Overall, Blasphemy is a fantastic read, and if you can get past a couple small, glaring weaknesses, you will really enjoy this book. If you like conflict, intensity, and deep thinking, this is definitely a book you should pick up. Don't hesitate at the controversial nature of the book or the possibility of it being over the top. I promise you, Preston finds a way to make it work well together. Ignoring this book on moral grounds would be blatant, well, blasphemy!

(Oh, and just on a side note, I picked this book up for $1 at Pike Place Market, shoved between two shelves...not a bad purchase if you ask me!)

Friday, October 22, 2010

Top 25 Videos of All-Time

My generation has produced a new phenomenon: watching videos online. YouTube is almost as much a part of our daily lives as Facebook and e-mail. I've wasted my fair share of time watching videos online, and I've collected my 25 favorites here. There is no criteria for making the list. If it was awesome, funny, stupid, or just plain interesting, it got consideration. I did try to avoid the globally known viral videos, though. So no “drinking out of cups,” no Charlie, and no double rainbows, for the sake of repetitiveness (apparently that's a word! Who knew?). And honestly, once you get to around number twelve, the order doesn't really matter either. As long as you're left in shock, inspired, or in stitches, I've accomplished my goal. Tell me what you think, and if I've made any glaring oversights!

I think most browsers will take you straight to the clip in this window, so make sure to click the "back" button afterward to get back to my countdown! Now, without further ado:

25. Soulja Boy: Girl U Stank (Take a Bath) – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-xAFrL2FDU The reason this is on my list (and god forbid, starting my list), is not to drive people away. It is simply to point out how atrocious this song is. I could tell my dog to take a crap on a newspaper, and then make a song out of the words that it landed on and I guarantee it would be better than what Soulja Boy came up with here. New contest: who can make it the farthest through this clip without exiting out?

24. Carl's Jr. Commercial – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wq25qD44hC0 I've always liked this commercial, since it came out when I was a kid. Such a simple concept, but so effective. It's a stupid joke you would make up with your friends at lunch, but to see your stupid idea displayed on TV gave it legitimacy. Okay, maybe that was just me.

23. Gunther music video: Ding Dong Song - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbYtqAWDF2U An absolutely terrible, but hilarious song by Gunther. The close up on his face during the chorus kills me. It will leave you in shock. For more ridiculous Gunther videos, check out this other classic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eyGLtT4b3o

22. Spray Paint Artists - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMbCnumPr90 Another pretty long video, but really entrancing. There are tons of these videos on the internet, and each and every one is incredible. I can't fathom the art that these street vendors make using just spray paint, tin cans, newspapers and other small tools. I'm lucky enough to live close to San Francisco so that any given weekend, I could go to the Embarcadero and see one of these performances in person. I actually bought one last time I was in the city (only $5, none were more than $20) and it's hanging on my wall right now!

21. Boneless baby – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y66UgfLZGsg Creepy? Yes. Sad? Yep. In bad taste? Sure. But there's one thing you can't argue: this is freakishly funny. This one makes me laugh really hard.

20. This is SportsCenter: Manny being Manny –http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0LjnqtSPps This one might need some context. First of all, Manny Ramirez is hilarious. He's widely-hated for various reasons, but still, he's hilarious. This is a long-running SportsCenter ad campaign featuring different athletes, mascots and SportsCenter personalities claiming kooky behind-the-scenes look-ins at the ESPN offices. Anyway, “Manny being Manny” is a phrase coined to describe Ramirez for his crazy antics both on and off the field (for example, taking a break during a game to go pee inside the Green Monster). Hopefully that will make you readers realize why this commercial is so funny.

19. Top 10 soccer goals – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gq5wdDJFi9Q Even non-soccer fans can appreciate these beautiful shots. For those of you, like me, who have played soccer, understand how difficult it is to put it in the back of the net. Making it look this good is why they are paid to play! I think #5 is my favorite, but #3 is definitely my favorite celebration.

18. Backflip catch on trampoline - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0rVZGL33Xg This is another video that may or may not be real. Because it looks real, I'm going to play dumb and just accept it as truth. That being said, this is amazing. Every guy dreams of making this play, but few have the balls to try it. Even fewer can actually pull it off! It may be lucky, but still takes a high degree of insanity and athleticism to make it count. I mean, come on! A backflip alone is hard enough! Also, let's take a minute to give the QB some props. That's a long, long pass, and it's right on the money.

17. College Humor: Half-court shot prank - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bI7AUgp5fPI College Humor is another great viral group and this is the best prank I've seen on their website so far. How devastating. Sorry if you have to suffer through a YouTube ad before seeing it, but it's worth it! To explain, briefly, these two guys in the video are in a prank battle that has been raging for years. They put all of them online, which you can see at www.collegehumor.com.

16.
Improv Everywhere: Grand Central Station - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwMj3PJDxuo This is so cool. Over 23 million views on YouTube makes me think you've seen this. But enjoy anyway. Improv Everywhere is a really cool group and I hope that I run into them sometime while I'm walking around town. Very creative.

15. Christian the Lion - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btuxO-C2IzE I'm pretty sure most people have seen this by now, but that doesn't make it any less awesome. Take a few minutes to watch it! I wish I had a pet lion.

14. “World's most insane knockout” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlLGWYvcnoE I don't know what kind of fighting this is, but the knockout is incredible. Raw athleticism. I'd love to see Brock Lesnar try this in the UFC (yeah, right). (And two honorable mentions: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgfgLnFrvxs and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dt4LrZO9z8k)

13. Gladiator quote – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvAbGbFYAuk&feature=related Crappy quality, annoying screen size, unnecessarily long clip...worth every second. This movie (especially this part) pumps me up beyond belief! Best line from one of the best movies I've ever seen. If you're impatient, fast-forward to about the 1:15 mark. And if you don't know what's going on, or you've been living in a hole for ten years and haven't seen Gladiator? Get on that immediately. You'll thank me.

12. Japanese baseball catch - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8a33v1EQ5c Man, if I ever made a catch this amazing, this athletic, this coordinated? I'd retire after the game, because there is no way I could top it. Coolest catch of all time, made by the aptly nicknamed “Spiderman” in a professional Japanese baseball game.

11. Cal St. Fullerton slam – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjqtJptW0Bk&feature=related One of the better dunks I've seen recently. Very clean. Tell me this wouldn't pump a team up! Solid defense on the other side of the court to lead to the dunk. And that poor guy on the other team's face probably smelled like Gerard Anderson's crotch for a couple days. (Also, see this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xp6qJ7LZNlg and this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tq9mMZQCqg. Two of my other favorite dunks.)

10. “Em-bear-assed” on 1,000 ways to die - http://www.spike.com/video/em-bear-assed/3107893 For those of you not familiar with this show, it's on SPIKE and is basically just the craziest and most random ways that people have died. I know it's bad to laugh at people for dying, but this show makes it hard not to. The reason I chose this particular “way to die” is because the re-creation of the death and the SPIKE narrator's script is worthy of this list itself. Not to mention how the guy dies. Check it out. Oh, and apparently the "fornicating furries" he runs into? Real. Yikes.

9. Home video of Juno – http://www.facebook.com/video/?of=639957370#!/video/video.php?v=319582122370&subj=639957370 This is a video that probably only people who are friends with me on Facebook can actually see. But considering almost everyone who will read this is, it shouldn't be a problem. Tell me this isn't the cutest thing you've ever seen! If only she was still this small and innocent...

8. Shaq commercial - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bo0ncg-2zPY It's widely-known that Shaquille O'Neal is both a dominant athlete and one of the funniest, most animated celebrities of our generation. This may not be his best video clip ever, but it's still one of my favorites.

7. 100 cheesiest movie quotes - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTiAS7cdsYc This one is about 10 minutes long, but it's worth it if you have the time. A collection of the cheesiest movie quotes ever, and they are really hilarious. The best ones are quotes where you didn't realize how cheesy the quote was when you saw the movie, but in the context of this countdown, it's like a hilarious revelation. (As a bonus, I don't know if this quote is on the countdown but it's really in a class of it's own. You don't have to see this movie to appreciate how bad the line is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5eVcXhHN9U)

6. Morgan State catch - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhN0OZA3aIs I don't know if this is a doctored video, but I don't care. The most athletic football play I think I've ever seen! The fact that Morgan St. wide receiver Edwin Baptiste was able to turn, dive, catch the ball one-handed at full extension, and hang on to the ball as he lands, is just unbelievable to me. You can really see on the slow-motion replay that he was literally horizontal to the ground, extended from the tip of his hand to his toes.

5. Mark Buehrle flip play - http://vimeo.com/10713200 Mark Buehrle, one of baseball's good guys, makes a play on Opening Day 2010 that can't even be described. It might have been luck, but damn, does he make lucky look good! Mercy!

4. WSU vs. ASU 2009 Senior night basketball game - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pq42BbLfgDE This is at my school, Washington State University. It was the seniors' last home game, when fan-favorite point guard Taylor Rochestie downed Arizona State in overtime on this long three pointer. Great moment, and even greater that I'm one of those red-clad ZZU CRU psychos running on the floor afterward. And don't bash the music, because it makes it just that much more epic! Go Cougs!

3. Robot Chicken Gummy Bear - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0w5oGVwJ_Q Okay, I know that Cartoon Network and Adult Swim have pretty awful shows in general. But anyone who has seen Robot Chicken and claims it is not funny is a liar! My roommate and I saw this sketch on that show at three in the morning in the dorms a few years ago and it's still one of the funniest things either of us has ever seen. Who thinks of this crap?

2. Do you Believe in Miracles? - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTev5pSuYLk This is one of the most inspirational sports highlights of all time. I still get chills watching this, even though I'm hardly a hockey fan (not to mention I was -9 years old when this happened). The context of the 1980 Olympics and the unbelievable, emotional call by Al Michaels is absolutely unforgettable.

Before we get to #1, here's one I added in last minute. It's also extremely funny, but I didn't want to part with any of my other top 25. So...bonus!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sfym8MdKNNY


Now, back to the countdown. The "winner" is...

1. SNL “Great Day” short – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48BdEecEON8 Saturday Night Live is a classic. Andy Samberg is absolutely hilarious. I don't even try to figure out where they come up with this stuff, but this is definitely the funniest one I've seen. The reason for it being #1? Recently discovered. It's just plain ridiculous. Enjoy! And thanks to my good friend Abbi Olson for showing this to me!

Hope you enjoyed all these clips! See ya next time, and follow me here at http://jamblin-man.blogspot.com/ if you liked it!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Intelligent Design: Should it be taught in public schools?

I wrote this for my English 301 (Rhetoric) class and presented it today. My partner presented the argument that Intelligent Design should not be taught in public schools under any circumstance. Honestly, we both rocked it. I got an A+ (only the + because I "won" the argument by a vote of the class 9 to 6, but we both did solid A work). I'm curious to see what people think about the issue...feel free to comment, question, tear apart, do whatever to this...I'll look forward to the feedback!


My argument is that teaching Intelligent Design, which is currently prohibited in public schools in America, absolutely should be taught, but outside of a science classroom setting. To explain quickly, the theory of Intelligent Design is basically an effort to discount the accepted scientific explanation that natural selection acting on random variations is the cause of creation. Instead, it proposes that creation is best explained by an intelligent cause, although it essentially avoids identifying a specific designer. Intelligent Design offers to close the gap between the notions of the Creationist viewpoint and the Evolutionary viewpoint. The middle ground kind of implies the thought that God may have created the universe and then let nature take it's course.

The separation of church and state, the teaching of religion and evolution, and all its surrounding controversy has made this discussion a point of contention among the public for over a century. On one hand, the First Amendment states that the government cannot limit freedom of speech or religion, including personal displays of either. On the other hand, the Establishment Clause in that amendment also states, the government can not force religious beliefs or establish a religion in public schools because they are owned by the government. So, students at public schools have the right to have their own beliefs and demonstrate their religions, but they can't learn about different theories of creation.

The most recent development in this debate was in the case Kitzmiller vs. Dover, PA in 2005. The case arose because t he local school board voted to require teachers to read a statement about Intelligent Design prior to discussions of evolution in high school biology classes to assure both viewpoints were established. Parents of eleven students challenged the decision, arguing that it violated the Establishment Clause. District Judge John E. Jones issued a decision that said, in summary: “Intelligent Design is not science. It is a religious theory that had no place in the science classroom.” He came to this conclusion because he found Intelligent Design violated the scientific method of experimentation and testability, and because it was “relying upon a supernatural explanation for a natural phenomenon.”

While Judge Jones did side with the Establishment Clause, he never mentioned that the idea of Intelligent Design should cease to be studied all together. Rather, he went by the Constitution and found that Intelligent Design in itself was not a scientific theory, but a religious theory, so it could not be taught in public schools, especially in a science classroom. But, comparative religion courses and even Bible study courses aren't prohibited in public schools. Knowledge of all different beliefs, theories, religions, etc. is important to a student for many reasons, and should be taught in classes outside of the science discipline. Surprisingly, polls have shown that most U.S. Citizens support the teaching of evolution in public schools, as well as the teaching of intelligent design and creationism as alternative theories.

Personally, I agree with the law, when it says Intelligent Design is not appropriate for a science class. Science does need to have testable hypotheses and experimental subject matter. That being said, Intelligent Design is still a theory of creation that can be studied, and needs to be understood. As I just mentioned, comparative religion classes can be taught in public schools as long as all religious texts are covered and one religion isn't promoted over the others. As long as a school studies the broad, general scope of religion and doesn't try to indoctrinate its students to a specific belief over any other, everything is kosher.

So, let's say in a class where society, theory, or comparative religion is the main subject, that a teacher pursues a unit on religion and creation. It is absolutely, 100% legal to teach Intelligent Design, to teach the ideas of religions, and so on. But, many religious groups feel that teaching views that contradict their own is offensive. Therefore, comparative religion courses have a rough go at staying in the course catalog.

In 2007, an incident involving a high school comparative religion class in Lake Stevens, Wash. made news because a Christian student and her parents publicly complained that the teacher was offending their religious beliefs. This came after the teacher, who is admittedly atheist, assigned the same critical thinking assignment to a Navajo creation theory and the story of Genesis. Basically, the student and her parents contended that he was challenging Christianity, when really he was simply trying to teach his students to look at both theories of creation objectively and from an outside perspective.

Banning the teaching of religious theories hinders a student's ability to have thorough knowledge of all options, therefore restricting “freedom” of religion. Assorted theories should be taught, and considered cultural and historical influences on the progression of humanity, but not advocated or instructed to be absolutely true or false. That would qualify under the First Amendment, and still give students a broader range of knowledge. As a field of study, the idea of a religious orientation being simply and only that - an orientation, will send many people who find their identity closely linked with their religious belief system, into a frenzy.

Obviously, as is the case in the Lake Stevens incident, many students have a prevailing religious belief by high school. But to make this work; to allow Intelligent Design to be taught, people need to set aside their own convictions and biases and embrace the study of comparative religion. The same people calling for Intelligent Design to be taught in science classes can not banish it from all courses simply because other theories would get equal time in the unit. Unfortunately, it seems that when people's belief systems are threatened, they protest anyone who dares suggest that there might be more to consider than what their religion says is right. Sometimes the protest is violent. Welcome to justification for war, slavery, and all kinds of horrific actions man has done to each other.

A thought process that considers the abolishment of religious study in public schools does not take into account that ignorance may hurt more than it helps. If the theory of Intelligent Design is to be understood by the general public, then we must allow it to be taught in a classroom. There is a certain context in which the subject must be taught, but if our young students are to get an objective chance to consider and learn about different perspectives, theories and religions, we need to allow the freedom for them to develop personal beliefs based on what they've learned. Every option needs to be laid out evenly in front of them, so they are free to ask questions, discern preferences and ultimately develop a belief system that is based on objective information and unbiased presentation.

Banning the teaching of any theory is unfair to students; our government's goal should not be so much about separating church and state in this situation. It should be to allow our students to learn everything they have the ability to learn and to broaden their perspective. It's not about whether or not it's okay to teach Intelligent Design and other religious theories; but rather should focus on what students are capable of learning.

I know that, as an atheist, I would have loved to take a class about the theories of creation and different models of religion in high school. That isn't to say that anything I would have learned would have changed my views, but I definitely find other ideas and theories interesting, even if just for the cultural aspect. But right now, the American government is denying high school students the chance they deserve to learn everything to their fullest abilities. They need to stop letting groups and organizations determine which subject matter is “right” or which book is or is not blasphemous. Not to mention, that the United States already has low standardized test scores, so limiting learning opportunities in any way contributes to the validity of those results.

Learning about religion is also to study how human beings acquire religious beliefs and what value they find in them. There are certain obvious aspects that appeal to people such as community, comfort, even coherency. But there are also darker issues. For example, being part of a community that repels others can potentially offer insulation wrapped in arrogance. It can also lead to disdain towards others, which can lead to the mindset that people outside of a certain group need “saving” for their own good. Which can then justify destruction, murder, rape, etc of those being “saved.” In this context, it is absolutely a viable, legitimate topic to be studied: how human beings react to religion.

Creating a curriculum that allows for the theory of religions to be learned would, in the right hands, offer a platform for discussion of how we come to be religious and how that both benefits and creates problems for human beings. Intelligent Design is a possibility in the world of creationst theories. It needs to be considered and understood. It does not need to be “the answer,” nor does it need to supersede any other religious beliefs. As we continue evolving as a race, who's to say that God might not be revealed in ways we can't even fathom? Who also can say that there may not be a God? Until either is proven, every possibility should be given a chance to be studied.

If the government denies students their freedom to learn about every and all possibilities, they are effectively denying them the choice that the First Amendment preaches. Sure, anyone can still choose to believe in anything, but the fact is that if information is only made readily available about certain government-selected theories then it is not only contradictory, but pushing students toward certain ideas.

While I support the First Amendment, the Establishment Clause, and the ruling in Kitzmiller v. Dover, I believe there is room for a change in the law, so that Intelligent Design is a part of public school curriculum. Ideally, science would be strictly experimental, and comparative religion would be an elective that covers Intelligent Design, Genesis, evolution, Native American creation theories, and everything in between. Not only does this invite freedom of religion by literally allowing people to choose their personal beliefs based on what they've learned about all available options, but it would quite possibly create more tolerance and understanding across religious groups. Students would graduate public school with more of a global viewpoint and be better prepared citizens to engage in society as a whole. As an elective course, only those who are interested in learning about all the different theories and religions would do so. Nothing would be forced nor required.

One may argue that allowing Intelligent Design to be taught in any scenario in public schools is a blatant violation of the First Amendment. One may also argue that doing so would force students to believe in what they are taught rather than have the freedom to choose their own religious paths. To counter, I must admit that yes, technically Intelligent Design in public schools would violate the First Amendment, but the violation would hardly cause harm; in fact, it would be pushing toward general improvement. It is in our country's best interest to allow young students the right to study the theories behind why we exist. Nothing has yet been proven, so prohibiting them from learning about every possibility is actually pushing them toward one accepted viewpoint, which almost perfectly contradicts the First Amendment; the Amendment that almost strictly controls unspoken social, political and cultural rules, the Amendment that has been responsible as the basis for war and violence, the incongruous Amendment that is setting back generations of young Americans.

What's more important than right or wrong is the actual debate. Not about which group owns the truth, but about what religion means to us and why it is so important. About how it shapes who we are as individuals and members of the global community. And ultimately, how we can hold the same elements within different religions and then say “but our way is the right way.” Public schools should offer the questions of religions in a way that lets me and my Buddhist neighbor examine the respective theories, concepts, and history of our religions so that we can learn from each other and evolve with each other both spiritually and practically. Banning Intelligent Design from public schools gives students no such chance.

In conclusion, the debate will continue to rage on. To teach Intelligent Design or not to teach Intelligent Design? The answer is Intelligent Design must be taught. Religious theories must be taught. Creationist theories must be taught. Meet in the middle and allow these things to be taught in a comparative religion elective course. Keep it out of the science classroom and base it strictly on the study of different cultures. Everyone involved in the debate must be willing to open up and understand that we are tweaking the Constitution to improve the education of our young students, build tolerance and acceptance for different beliefs, and increase the general public's breadth of knowledge. Not allowing each and every theory to be evenly and fairly presented in an educational context would contradict everything the First Amendment stands for: freedom of religion, freedom of speech, freedom of choice. There is no free will, there is no free choice without the full disclosure of the belief systems represented around the world.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Calling the Wambulance: Jonathan Papelbon

Everyone who watches sports, plays sports, used to play sports; they have all had problems with officiating. Fans and athletes (humans in general) are inherently biased. If the 49ers have a pass interference penalty called against them, I ignore the actual rules and list all the reasons why Nate Clements was not at fault. Naturally, if it's called against the other team, I comment on how fantastic the officiating has been this game.

Major League Baseball may be the toughest league to umpire in, and despite being harshly scrutinized, statistics show that MLB umpires do an unbelievably accurate job making calls every season. Still, one missed call can change an entire at-bat, which can change an entire game, which can change an entire series, which can change an entire season. But, human error has been a part of the game forever and despite the possibility of the expansion of instant replay, I highly doubt that umpires will ever be completely replaced by emotionless machines.

That being said, there is a fine line between complaining and protesting. And even when considered a protest, there better be a damn good reason for it. After Sunday night's game against the Yankees, Boston Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon criticized home plate umpire Phil Cuzzi, placing partial blame on him for a blown save that led to a 4-3 extra inning loss. From Yahoo! Sports, via the Boston Globe:

“Really rough tonight, considering the fact that I'm not only pitching against the hitter, I'm pitching against the umpire,” Papelbon said. “When you've got to do that against this lineup, you'll never be successful.”

Yes, the pitches were close and he didn't get the calls. But Cuzzi's strike zone was consistently tight all night, as manager Terry Francona acknowledged in the original Boston Globe article. Regardless of the calls made in the at-bat in which Alex Rodriguez walked to load the bases, prior to Robinson Cano's game-tying single, a few questions burn in my mind for Papelbon.

First, how did the first two hitters get on? Whoops. Second, after the close call that took the count to 3-2, why didn't you strike A-Rod out, or induce a ground ball, or do anything but walk him to put the winning run in scoring position with an MVP candidate coming to the plate? Right. Third, once the bases were loaded, why didn't you shake it off and just make a good pitch to get Cano out? Hmm. My point is, while you can complain all you want about the umpiring in that at-bat, Paplebon is the only person at fault. He has a history of failure against the Yankees and has had a rough season, by an established closer's standards. This makes me think that the end of a subpar season against arch rivals in a difficult place to pitch got to Papelbon, and he simply blew the save.

Complaints about officiating is all well and good. It's a part of sports. But it's a matter of sportsmanship and respect that we're dealing with here. If Terrell Owens had publicly-criticized an NFL official, he would have been fined an arm and a leg. If Papelbon had a problem with the umpiring in the game, you rant about it to a teammate or a coach in the clubhouse after the game. You call your friends or family and complain about the unbalanced strike zone. It's totally understandable for him to feel slighted, but as a professional athlete he has to know the limitations. He has to know that in the end, he didn't do his job. Going to the media was absolutely ridiculous and embarrassing. All that comes out of complaining to the Boston Globe is a loss of respect among other players, pure annoyance of the fan base, and a potential punishment from the Commissioner’s office. Papelbon already blew a save and essentially lost the game for the Red Sox. Don't rub salt in the wound and turn it around on the umpires.

Let me contrast Papelbon's situation with a now infamous event that happened mid-season, on June 2nd. Tigers starter Armando Galarraga had a perfect game through 9 2/3 innings against the Cleveland Indians. The 27th batter of the game, Jason Donald, hit a routine ground ball to first. In picture-perfect form, Galarraga covered first base and took the flip from first baseman Miguel Cabrera in time for the out. Fans and players threw their hands in the air to celebrate the third, and most unlikely perfect game of the 2010 season, until first base umpire Jim Joyce yelled, “Safe!” Replays clearly showed that the runner was out and that Joyce had just accidentally altered baseball history by missing a very easy, average call.

Joyce tearfully admitted later that he blew the biggest call of his career and denied Galarraga a place in history. Now that is a reason for a player to call out an umpire. Galarraga, after an initial look of shocked disappointment, cracked a smile, took the mound and got the next batter out to complete a 1-hit, 3-0 win. After the game, no ill will was directed at Joyce by Galarraga or any of his teammates. He had every right in the world to bitch and moan to the media about how he had been screwed, but instead he talked about how good he felt after throwing the best game of his life. Not once did Galarraga throw Joyce under the bus or blame him for blowing his perfect game.

Fast forward to Sunday. Realistically, the Red Sox are out of the playoffs. The Yankees are in. All that remains to be determined are whether the Yankees will be the division champions or in as a wild-card team. It was a game with far less meaning than Galarraga's gem. This Red Sox vs. Yankees game would not have gone down in history, and was hardly an out-of-the-ordinary news story. Until Papelbon summoned his inner, spoiled 10-year-old and opened his mouth to reporters about the incompetence of a respected, veteran umpire. My guess is that if Papelbon had done his job and secured the win for the Red Sox, he never would have said anything about the umpiring. Something more along the lines of, “I didn't have all my stuff tonight, but fortunately I was able to keep making pitches and get out of that jam” would have been in order.

Papelbon didn't throw a belt-high fastball against Rodriguez and not get the call (of course, if he had, the game would have been over before Cano had a chance to come up...). Cuzzi didn't call anyone safe when they missed the bag. Things just didn't go Papelbon's way, and he let it get to him. Mariano Rivera blew a save on Sunday as well, and you would never hear him blame it on a bad call. That's part of the character that makes Rivera so likeable, so well-respected; a complete professional, who will eventually be enshrined forever as one of the greatest.

Papelbon has a lot to learn if he is still placing blame for his failures on the officials enforcing the rules of the game. He had no good reason to question the strike zone of Cuzzi and should be fined, justly. My only hope is that Papelbon grows up and starts taking credit for his own mistakes. From now on, the only people who should hear those kinds of gripes are his teammates, friends and family, all in private. Stay away from people with microphones, recorders and notepads. Because next time Cuzzi is behind the plate, you might find yourself with an even tighter zone to operate in.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Movie Review: Robin Hood

As usual, give me a minute here to annoy you readers who like the writer to jump straight to the good stuff. I have a couple background issues to cover before we get to the actual review. So, first of all, you must know that Gladiator is one of my all-time favorite movies. Some people listen to Metallica to get pumped up. Some people do steroids. I watch Gladiator. If Mark McGwire were listening to Metallica, while being injected with steroids by Jose Canseco who was simultaneously listening to Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N Roses, it would almost equal the amount of adrenaline output I get from watching one scene in Gladiator. In fact, though it's unlikely, if a girl ever quoted my favorite part (Russell Crowe: "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."), I would literally propose to her on the spot. I know, I know it's tempting ladies; but please refrain from trying this the next time you see me.

The reason I bring up Gladiator is that it has a whole lot to do with Robin Hood. Ridley Scott returns to direct Robin Hood, Russell Crowe again takes the leading role, and the dynamic duo again creates an absolutely awesome film. Everyone loves the story of Robin Hood. Everyone loves Ridley Scott. Everybody loves Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett. If a + b = c, and a + c = b, and...the square root of...or...nevermind. What I'm trying to say here is that if all the main elements of a movie are fantastic, there is very little chance that the movie won't be fantastic.

With that in mind, let me finally proceed to the actual review of Robin Hood. BUT, before I get there, two very quick disclaimers:

1. Don't be like me. Don't assume that Robin Hood will be Gladiator 2. Similar elements, similar personnel and a similar style does not a sequel necessarily make. Luckily, I had a revelation before watching Robin Hood and decided not to unfairly hold it to the standard of what I believe to be one of the greatest movies ever made. I still had unbelievably high expectations, and while I wasn't exactly let down, Robin Hood didn't get a fair chance.

2. This is NOT the classic story of Robin Hood. Don't go into it expecting to see Robin stealing form the rich, giving to the poor, etc. I made that mistake, and while it also didn't change my feeling on the movie, I was surprised and felt a kind of awkward anticipation the entire movie. As a species, we do not like surprises, we don't like to stray from the norm, so prepare yourself for this movie adequately.

Without further ado, the story before the legend we all know and love as Robin Hood:

Russell Crowe plays Robin Longstride, a common archer in the army of King Richard the Lion Heart. King Richard is on his way back from his Crusades, and sacking and pillaging French castles in the process. At the last castle before sailing back to England, King Richard is killed by an arrow. After hearing the news of the King's death, Robin and his band of merry men decide to ditch the army instead of continuing back with them. On their way, they see English knights who are in charge of delivering the crown back to London, get ambushed by a French squadron led by an English traitor named Godfrey (played by Mark Strong - Sherlock Holmes, Body of Lies, RockNRolla).

Robin and his men decide to take the deceased knights' armor and try to pass themselves off as the procession in charge of returning the deceased King's crown in order to be richly rewarded by the new King. Although they make it to London, the new King is Richard's incompetent youngest brother John, who refuses to give them any type of reward. Godfrey, who slayed the knight Robin is impersonating, happens to be at the kingdom when Robin returns the crown, and recognizes that the imposter "knows too much."

Robin's next quest leads him to Nottingham to return the sword of the knight he is puppeting to his blind, dying father, Walter Loxley. Merrian Loxley (Blanchett) is Walter's daughter-in-law. Walter convinces Robin to stay at their home and pretend to be his son so as to provide temporary stability to the family. All is good and well in Nottingham, until word gets out that Godfrey is on a rampage with a French army through England, "collecting taxes" for the unsuspecting King John by mercilessly raiding every town he passes through.

The brunt of the story is based on Robin leading the English army in a surprise siege upon Godfrey and his arriving French troops. Along the way, the audience learns to love and hate many characters with a passion. Robin must protect his people, lead in a way that King John can not, and uncover a surprisingly un-cliche mystery about his own father. I'm a big fan of not spoiling movies, so that's what I'll leave you with as far as plot goes. But, I can tell you that the acting, for the most part, is impeccable in Robin Hood. The directing is impressive, as is typical with Ridley Scott films. And the storyline is thankfully brilliant, as so much could have gone wrong trying to backtrack through Robin Hood's life.

Blanchett and Crowe make a great acting team in the film and have terrific on-screen chemistry. The lesser actors are perfectly suited for their roles and rarely acted poorly. The best thing for me is that in a couple instances, you get the epic, stone-faced Russell Crowe-delivered line, reminiscent of Gladiator. In the end, Ridley Scott managed to squeeze in a perfect sequence of events that leaves you hanging and begging for a sequel: the common Robin Hood tale.

My anticipation for a sequel is built up very high now, and I have to say I'd be severely disappointed if there wasn't one. I really believe that this could be one of those rare instances where the sequel has the potential to be better than the original film. While I won't spoil the events leading up to the end of the movie for you, I can safely tell you that in the sequel, Robin will be referred to as "Robin of the Hood," and he and his allies will have a bounty on their heads, considered thieves living outside of the law. And all Robin Hood leaves you with is the wonder of what in the world they are all doing in the depths of Sherwood Forest right now.

I highly recommend this film to anyone who likes action, adventure, Robin Hood...heck, anyone who enjoys a well-made movie. Robin Hood is to Gladiator as Eli Manning is to Peyton Manning. Solid, entertaining, surrounded by a good cast...just not quite as great as the big brother. Either way, I give Robin Hood a B+ overall and would expect a real classic out of any potential sequel.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The. Billy. Breen.

Raise your hand if you've seen Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives? How about Man vs. Food? Best Thing I Ever Ate? No? Then, first of all you're a loser. All great, very entertaining shows on the Food Network. Just don't watch while hungry. A quick recap: Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives is hosted by Guy Fieri as he tours certain cities around the country looking for the best unknown cafes, diners, restaurants, etc. I've personally found a couple really delicious, random places to eat from watching that show. Man vs. Food is about Adam Richman traveling the country to find insane food challenges to take on (5-pound grilled cheese, 72-ounce steak, 12-pound cheeseburger challenges, among others). Best Thing I Ever Ate is just as it sounds - a bunch of Food Network personalities describing in vivid, mouthwatering, unfair detail what the best _____ they ever ate was.

Anyway, back to business. I've had my fair share of amazing, memorable meals...orange chicken or chicken bellagio at The Cheesecake Factory, lettuce wraps at P.F. Chang's, In N Out Burger, my mom's taco salad...but this weekend in Spokane I ate something that topped them all. This one would qualify for all three shows. An old-school diner in downtown Spokane, a serving too big to handle, and by far the best burger/sandwich/dinner/MEAL I've ever eaten. I can only hope that some day the Food Network sees this review and heads straight for Spokane, Wash. to test it out.

The place: The Satellite Diner
The subject: Hungry, hungry ME.
The meal: "The Billy Breen"

Picture this. Take your normal cheeseburger and fries and put some mutant steroids in them to cover a gigantic, oval plate. Then, take everything off the burger except for the meat and cheese. Replace each bun with something real special. The Billy Breen's claim to fame is that instead of your typical burger buns, there is an entire grilled cheese sandwich on top and bottom of the meat. I know by now most of you are drooling. BUT, it gets better! When you are grilling up the top bun, don't forget to throw a couple strips of delicious, juicy bacon on with the cheese. When grilling the bottom bun, don't forget to throw a handful of warm, steamy french fries on with the cheese. When both sandwiches are done, you have your buns. Place the cheeseburger on the french-fry-filled grilled cheese, and top it all with the bacon-filled grilled cheese. Call over another cook to help you lift the gargantuan meal from the grill to the plate. Cut it in half, and serve with a far too large helping of seasoned steak fries.

This is not a joke. It really happened. One half of that burger and I was toast (no pun intended). I couldn't stop though. I wolfed down the second half and all the fries en route to raising my cholesterol 100 points and gaining 18 pounds in one meal (statistics not based on real fact). You can imagine the happiness, fullness and resulting wonderful sickness that this meal bestowed on me. I can still taste it. And I would honestly make the 90-minute drive RIGHT NOW to get another.

Take my word for it. If you are ever in Spokane, stop by The Satellite Diner and ask for The Billy Breen. Better yet, tell them Jamblin' Man sent you. It won't make any difference, but at least it will confuse the server for a second. Good night and good luck.

Rockstar Hangover

Energy drinks are my generation's form of uppers. Liquid crack, if you must. Anyone who tells you that energy drinks don't affect them is lying to your face and should be justly punished. Obviously, there is a physical effect. But mentally, you receive an unlimited supply of focus. Unless of course, you overdose. There are especially strong energy drinks. Rockstar is the standard...I purchased a gigantic 24 oz. "tropical punch" (more like blood) Rockstar to study for my test last night. First of all, I should not have started drinking it at 10:00 p.m. I can usually count on an energy drink working it's magic for around five hours. Perfect timing to study for my test! But, I failed to factor in two things:

1. It was a gigantic 24 oz. Rockstar...
2. The five hours don't really kick in until the whole thing is gone (which for me, was around 1:30 a.m.)

Anyway, I did okay on my exam and didn't piss red, so all in all the night was worth it. The main complaint I have is how un-freaking-comfortable I was trying to fall asleep. I have a huge, soft bed. Perfect amount of darkness. Warm blankets. Snoring puppy curled at my feet. But I was basically in a void of nothingness. I was nearly unconscious. I was experiencing INCEPTION! Just kidding...although it did feel like I was having an out-of-body experience (does the warning on the can's label say anything about THAT? Didn't think so...)

If a computer that is "shut down" is a human "asleep," then I was a computer asleep. Does that make sense? I was just laying there, existing; nothing else. Humming. My heart was beating extremely fast and everything about me felt tired, but the actual act of sleeping just wouldn't happen. Finally, around 5:30 a.m. (wake up call at 9), the buzz faded and I was able to sleep. Needless to say, waking up was not fun. I'm still not having much fun as I write this, sitting through my fourth long class of the day. One paper and two more tests to go this week - let's hope I survive.

Moral of the story: if you must drink liquid crack, or as it is more commonly referred to, "Rockstar," start early and drink in moderation. You'll thank me.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Why I Want To Do Semester At Sea

I consider myself a pretty well-traveled person...at least here at home. I've lived in California and Washington state (for school...), visited Nevada, Arizona, Florida, Oregon, Idaho, New York, Massachusetts, Vermont, Florida and Hawaii, been to Mexico a few times, even up to Canada. But one thing I've never, ever done, is cross the Atlantic, or even leave North America for that matter. I have tons of friends who have studied abroad in places like Spain, England, Greece and China. I almost took my 2nd semester of sophomore year to study in Chile and Argentina...unfortunately the credits didn't transfer and I know hardly any Spanish so it never happened. Ever since researching studying abroad, I have been interested in going to South America. Ever since talking to my friends who have been to Europe or Asia, I've been interested in going there. Ever since I can remember, my dream vacation has been New Zealand/Australia. My point is, I've had my fair share of vacations, but never to a country or culture that I consider vastly different from my own. Doing Semester at Sea this summer would give me the perfect opportunity.

The 2011 summer voyage is supposed to go to the Bahamas, Barcelona, Naples, Athens, Istanbul, Morocco, Croatia and Egypt. Wow. So many different cultures, so much history, so much to do and see over 66 days! Plus, the voyage ends in Boston, one of my all-time favorite cities, so maybe I could swing spending a couple days there as well! Anyway, my time to earn school credits while traveling is running out. I don't know if I could put myself in any better situation after this year. A huge cruise ship with hundreds and hundreds of college students with similar intentions to me, hanging out all day and then exploring Europe and parts of Africa and South America? Don't even get me started on the opportunities this trip would give me to further my cultural knowledge and therefore expand my ability to write!

Obviously, there are a couple of roadblocks...

1) COST - my god...including all the fees, airfare, personal money for expenses, textbooks, etc., I would want to budget around $15,000 for this trip. In the end, money is just paper...but it is really hard to move around without it. I'm avidly searching for a job on campus right now to start saving. I know my beautiful, wonderful, loving parents would throw a small bit of money my way, but realistically I'm looking at around $10,000 otherwise. This is where selling drugs comes in...JUST KIDDING. This is where financial aid, scholarships, work study, grants and loans come in. Luckily, Semester at Sea offers a 10-month payment plan option. So basically, starting in January (I believe...), I would pay around $1,200 to them every month to cover the basic trip fees. Along with saving up that extra $500 or so to set off to the side each month for extra expenses. I know for sure that I can get a $2,000 work-study scholarship...basically I agree to work 2 hours a day on the boat and they give me $2,000. According to a friend from University of Washington who did the trip a couple years ago, that's a really good, easy way to cut some costs. He told me that the work is simple and that it allows you free internet access on the boat (not usually free). Also, I can apply for need-based and normal financial aid. And I'm curious to see if I can keep a travel blog to promote Semester at Sea with all my experiences. That would give me practice as well as giving them free advertising? That warrants knocking off a good five or six grand, right? But in all honesty, I'm going to work my tail off to make this happen. I have a meeting with the abroad office here at WSU in a couple weeks and will be emailing my academic adviser this week with questions. Lastly, I'm in contact with the Semester at Sea "recruiter," so I should be able to ask him a few questions tomorrow over the phone.

2) CLASSES - Probably even more important than the money is, will my credits transfer? Will they have English and/or Communications courses on the ship that will transfer back into one of the 8-10 remaining courses I need for my majors? Will any of it count as English 498 "Internship" credit? (Ugh, that would be amazing, what a pain in the butt to get out of the way!) My parents are worried that even if they do transfer back, that if I still had to go back to Pullman for Fall semester 2011, it would be a lottttt of money to spend, and rightfully so. Factoring in a new house lease (current one expires August 2011), paying for more classes, etc. it may just not be worth it. That's why it all comes down to the classes. If I can get 2 courses knocked out on the ship, or 1 course and English 498 credit, that would be ideal. This is why I need to meet with so many people. I have one full semester of college left, no matter how I look at it. Classes are harder to come by in the summer, so I want to be able to plan my registration for this Spring as best as possible. But, ideally, I will take 15-16 credits at WSU in the Spring and be left with 9-10 that I can take on the boat...

Either way, the application is going out tomorrow and we'll go from there. I understand the financial and logistical constraints of this possibility, but the adventure bug is calling and I really want to answer it. Unless something goes absurdly wrong, hellooooooo Bahamas, hellooooooo Europe and helloooooooo Africa! Pencil me in for summer!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Book Review: The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

I read. I read a lot. It's probably unhealthy, honestly. The only thing I won't read is my textbooks. The latest victim of my predation was The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. The description on the back was pretty blah, but it was heavily endorsed by my Mom...a fail-proof source. Seriously. She hasn't recommended a bad book to me yet. So I went for it.

No joke, within the first two chapters, it was one of my favorite books of all time. Right up there with Night by Elie Wiesel, the Harry Potter series, Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult, Black Hawk Down, and anything by Dan Brown.

The story is about a girl named Liesel Meminger, a foster child growing up in Nazi Germany. In a matter of 500 pages, she deals with more death than any human, fictional or not, should ever have to deal with. Part coming-of-age story, part recounting of World War II, part statement on human nature, and part sticking-it-to-Hitler story, the book is artfully crafted and eloquently written. The storyline is great in itself - Liesel becomes a book thief, learns how to read and write and develops a love-hate relationship with words in the process. All the while, she deals with adventuring with her best friend Rudy, love, death, Hitler's youth soldiers, bombs, and her foster father secretly hiding a kind-hearted Jew in his basement. Just your average few years of puberty.

The story will keep you involved, but Zusak could have written a 500-page poem about broccoli and I still probably would have read it. Why? By far the most entrancing, involved writing style I've ever seen. He has a strange way of keeping it simple, yet descriptive. The character development unfurls over time; he doesn't give it all away up front. At some points, it's almost a poetic style of writing but it flows in with the normal prose perfectly. More than a few times, I literally put the book down and sat there in shock at how vivid an image was or how deep a passage was. Don't laugh, but the only other time I've ever had that happen to me when reading, was when Dumbledore died. Sorry if I just spoiled Harry Potter for any real slow readers....

Anyway, that's the mark of a truly awesome novel: things really stick with the reader. I could try to forget the story, the characters, etc. but I don't think it's possible. Did I mention the most original part of The Book Thief? The narrator is Death. Sounds like it could be cheesy. Not even close. Zusak kills it! (That's a good thing, for my older crowd!) The narrator is a recurring character in the book but it really snaps you back to reality when he shows up. And all the connections that Zusak makes between death and Death work to perfection.

If it wasn't 8:30 on a Thursday night and I wasn't getting summoned to play Beer Pong, I'd have a much more in-depth analysis for you. Hopefully I've done enough to convince you to pick up The Book Thief and give it a try. You won't regret it!